D-I-S-C-O-B-I-S-C-U-I-T

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Down by his...Hogwarts Castle

So my dads wake is tomorrow (see previous entry)

The whole thing is kind of hazy. It's too draining to keep talking about.

So after days of just watching tv in bed some of my friends were like 'that's it! we're getting you out of the house!' And i'm glad I did. The 4 of us went and saw The Dark Knight (which was awesome!) Then we went back to one of their's apartment. (Is that sentence structured correctly? I don't think so, I don't care) We sat there mulling over things to do and decided to go to Subway where it took us an hour to eat our 6 inch grinders cause we were telling jokes and laughing way too hard. It felt good.

Then we went to the bar and it was hip hop night or something and we looked REALLY out of place. I drank gin. I decided I do NOT like gin.

I ended up running into an old crush at the bar (who also looked very out of place) and found out I was an old crush of his as well.

So my group joined his group and we had very intellectual conversations about peacocks, which led to homosexuality, which led to Brokeback Mountain, and then to Heath Ledger, and finally the Black Knight.

I also drank way too much. As I usually do. Unfortunetly, I seem to do everything in excess.

Anyway the old crush and I teamed up and kicked everyone's ass in pool. Booyah.

We exchanged numbers. Oh goodness.

Him and his friends ended up coming back to the apartment with us and we all jammed out in the basement with all the instruments.

I disappeared out to the front steps and chained smoked ciggarettes (i HAD quit smoking until my father died, then it just went downhill) in my drunken state while balling my eyes out.

But inbetween my sob fests I was happy.

By no means was it an extravagent night. I saw an old friend, made new ones, talked, and laughed my ass off. I'm beginning to realize that those are the most important moments in life. The little ones where you just laugh with others. Being happy is a choice in life. I'm going to start trying to make the right choice.

Because of my father's death I have realized a lot. It's true, life is short and it can be taken away in an instant. From now on if I have something to say to someone i'm going to say it. I'm not going to let petty things get in the way of friendship nor life.

On a less philosophical note...i've been talking to this kid lately. (Oh yeah, the boyfriend has checked out since my father died. Isn't that lovely? Right when I need him most, at least I can see his true colors now) I don't like him, however I am very attracted to him. He's also 19. It makes me giggle. True i'm a whopping 3 years older than him, but men mature much slower than women (obviously) and it's different when you're over 21 and the other person is not really close to 21. But he's very cute and infatuated with me. Which is both repulsing and charming.

Nothing has happened, and nothing will probably happen. But it's nice to flirt.

Oh and the crush I saw at the bar drove by my place today on his bike...going rather fast...and beeping his horn. I smiled.

1:07am - 2008-07-22